Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
