So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The adults are the big ones right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize