i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize