he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
