Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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