zippers are such a cool invention
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
