summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
