my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize