is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize