Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
