butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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