Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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