You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
