Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
