alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
