I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
