I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
