I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
