How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
