I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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