I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize