she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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