my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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