don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
