Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
