I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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