I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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