Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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