Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
