I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
