North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize