My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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