his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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