sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
