It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
