census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
