I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
