Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
