Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
