I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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