about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
