Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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