I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want nice things and good sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
