Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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