I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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