So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
