Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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