i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
