Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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