I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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