Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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