you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
