I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm always down for nudity.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
