I wish I could punch you in the face.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
