If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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