Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
bring money and cleavage
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
