I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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