i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
