i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were destined to go to rehab together
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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