Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he shaved USA in his pubs
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
