Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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