I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
